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Should I? Would I? Could I?

text message, courtesy of

text message, courtesy of

So many questions came up when I received a text message from a friend, couple of days ago. A friend that I have never met for more than 3 years. A friend, which became a gorgeous person nowadays – as other people said to me.

She said on the text message,
“Why did you never come back again to your home town? We missed you here.”

The question itself actually never wondered by my self. WHY? Because I never counted how many years, or how long since the last time I stepped my foot on my home town. And now, I knew.

Should I reply the text message? Would I reply the text message? Could I reply the text message?

3 questions. Simple, but it’s deep.

Should I reply the text message? The fact was that girl, already left me. She left me years ago, and the reason is because the third person. And since that, she never contacted me again. Until few days ago. So, should I reply?

Would I reply the text message?
I wonder what would happen if only I replied the text message. Would she reply again? Would ever she contact me again? Would ever anything change?

The fact is, I had a promise to myself. I would never contact anyone that hurt me again, if they never contacted me first. But now, she contacted me first. And, would I reply it?

Could I reply the text message?
Replying the text message is as easy to read it. But, I don’t have any courage to do it. WHY? Because the feelings in my heart, already turned into hatred. Turned into a vengeance.

Those three questions were repeating in my mind. Again, again, and again. If ever life never this hard, maybe I could be happier. If ever life is easier and more simple, maybe I’d never be like this. But, I have no regret on how myself turned nowadays, I just regret why does they left me.

So, should I?
Would I?
Could I?

19 thoughts on “Should I? Would I? Could I?”

  1. pakde says:

    Dapat SMS dari peyempuan koq dicuwekin seeeeeeeh…? samber aja..balas langsung men!

  2. Billy K. says:

    pakde,, it’s not that simple…
    some feelings can’t change.. but people do change.. and i changed into a person that hate her

  3. says:

    you should reply….
    nice friendship can be built then…

  4. boyin says:

    wah mantep nih billy, many girls around you..haaa

  5. Billy Koesoemadinata says:

    arikaka,, friendship, maybe okay.. but how about the feelings itself? it’s hurt you know

    boyin,, hahahaha.. just for your information, it’s not only girls, but also women.. 😛

  6. deeedeee says:

    Hmm, If I were you, I would reply the messege. That was in the past. Maybe she just wanna say hello as a friend 🙂
    * why I can’t implement this in my real life? hoaaa!*

  7. Billy K. says:

    deeedeee,, *why I can’t implement this in my real life? hoaaa!*
    see?? it’s not that simple, right?

  8. uchie says:

    if u trust urself not 2 do it, don’t be.
    sometimes it’s a better option.

  9. Billy Koesoemadinata says:

    uchie,, the problem is,, i don’t trust anything right now..
    but still, it’s a good advice to be done 😉

  10. joe says:

    i have no idea at all

  11. roberthendrik says:

    billl… bahasa indo donk…..

  12. anderson says:

    Hmm… must be something that really hurt you in the past. You deserve not to reply that message as she also deserves to keep writing you messages.. 🙂

  13. Billy Koesoemadinata says:

    joy,, hmm.. seems to be you never had this kind of experience, right?

    robert,, sorry.. but this blogs is in english 😉

    anderson,, yes! you’re right!

  14. frozzy says:

    billy….. i agree with ur lines :
    “If ever life never this hard, maybe I could be happier. If ever life is easier and more simple, maybe I’d never be like this. But, I have no regret on how myself turned nowadays”

    what i’m tryin’ to say is, what we’ve been through had changed us into what we are now. and those who already hurt us in the past have no rights at all to just step into our life again after all what they did in the past.

    maybe it sounds too emotional, but, hey…been there too, dude… 😀

  15. Deddy Huang says:

    I prefer to choose… should i?

  16. ceuceu says: really hurt in the past and now you still love her..(ooohh I hope not..!!)
    so my suggest is… don’t reply the message!

    its better to reply message from another girls..another women (around you)..hhahha..

  17. Billy Koesoemadinata says:

    frozzy,, you got the point 😉

    deddy,, so now, you would reply the message even if it’s lying to your feelings?

    ceuceu,, hmm.. i’m still in love with her? hmm.. i don’t know.. but the real thing is, i hate her.. and, replying messages from the other girls? OF COURSE! 😛

  18. Ze says:

    salam kenal billi, gret website…berhubung gw ce..kalo gw sms yang pasti harap di balas heheh…menurut gw bales aja,gpp,bagaimanapun dia kan temenlu. kalo lu takut disakiti lagi..sebenarnya jangan takut,positiv thinking aja… kadang yang kita takutkan…bener2 terjadi lho..

  19. Syahruzzaky says:

    Replying that message must be the wisest one, I think, as long as you have a sincere intention (niat) to not break this kind of relationship (silaturrahim). Everything will be better if we don’t have any vengeance in our heart, right?

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